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The following article is written by Max Jeganathan, author and speaker at OCCA, The Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics.

What is winsomeness?

Author and apologist Os Guinness remarked that our apologetics must not only be cross-centred, it must also be cross-shaped. This speaks to one of the core pillars of public Christian living and of the means and manner through which followers of Jesus are called to live out their faith, answer for their faith, and share their faith: winsomeness.

The core foundational verse from which so much of Christian apologetics finds its basis, declares that when followers of Jesus give reasons for the hope that they have, they must do so with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15). That is to say, they must do so winsomely.

The word ‘winsomeness’ is out of fashion these days. It comes from the old English word ‘wynn’ which means joy, pleasure or delight.

Winsome people have a positive effect on others. They ignite and augment a sense of happiness in those around them.

That’s all well and good when we are with like-minded people or with people that we like, and that like us. However, it becomes a lot more challenging in the face of opposition, hostility, and attack. And a quick glance at our news headlines, our social media sphere, and our public square – suggest that the times do not suit the winsome.

Public use of the word ‘winsome’ has steadily declined since the 1800s. However, the word has experienced something of a resurgence in the last twenty years. Perhaps people are looking for winsomeness at a time of growing division and polarisation. Or perhaps – more discouragingly – modern uses of the word are the result of the less winsome voices among us seeking to discredit it. Either way what’s clear is that our times call not just for more gracious dialogue but for a properly informed conversation about why winsomeness matters.

To learn more, watch our video featuring Darrell L. Bock, Professor of New Testament Studies and Executive Director for Cultural Engagement at Dallas Theological Seminary, and OOCA associate speaker, Charlie Styles.

Biblical winsomeness

While modern society continues to grapple with these issues, the Bible has never moved an inch. Winsomeness – as per the Bible – is neither negotiable nor optional. The apostle Paul’s declaration that our speech must always be gracious and seasoned with salt, is unconditional. The ends cannot justify the means if the means are – in a real sense – ends in themselves.

The Christian metric of success in dialogue is not to win the conversation, but to faithfully communicate truth in a way that honours God and demonstrates love to their dialogue partners. The Bible uses a number of different words and concepts that speak to the idea of winsomeness. The most accurate of these is probably the Greek word “charis” which means grace or graciousness. Charis paints a picture of speech and action that are kind, generous, inviting, gentle and intended to win over the other.

Winsomeness is not weakness

Importantly, biblical winsomeness should not be equated with weakness. Christians are called to be uncompromising in holding to the truths they find sacred. They are called to be as wise as serpents (Matthew 10:16), to think and speak strategically, persuasively and intelligently (Acts 17), and to reason calmly from their own experience, regardless of irrational and unkind opposition (John 9). Winsomeness is not weakness. It is strength and security under control and submitted to loving God and others regardless of opposition.

Atheist philosopher Jean Paul Sartre exclaimed that “hell is other people.” For the Bible – and the Christian – this could not be further from the truth. For Christians, other people are image bearers of God, worthy of kindness, graciousness, warmth and patient attention. If the Christian life is defined by how we love God and love others, then hell is the absence of God and other people.

However, modern times have created difficult conditions for the winsome.

How Christians can be winsome in a hostile world

How can we be winsome and gracious when opposing voices are so hostile and aggressive?

How can we assume a posture of love and kindness when the arenas in which we find ourselves so often – both public and private – are only ever a couple of triggering comments away from exploding into the worst aspects of prejudice and polarisation?

Those who speak against winsomeness as weak, outdated and ineffective, usually contend that modern times and the hostile battle of ideas demand a more muscular posture. After all, Jesus instructed his disciples to buy swords (Luke 22:35-36). Surely this suggests that there are times for winsomeness to be put aside?

Such sentiments are understandable, but seem to misunderstand the difference between heart-posture, strategic wisdom and thoughtful assertiveness. There are circumstances that call for firmness, disengagement and arguably, for defensive action – but there is never a time to be contemptuous and disagreeable. While the political, cultural and sociological landscape can seem inhospitable to the winsome, Christians are called to defy our instincts to fight back (Romans 12:19).

Winsomeness not in our own strength

Thankfully the Christian message offers a theological pathway to living winsomely, and perhaps even to make winsomeness great again. Followers of Jesus are not simply expected to be winsome in their own strength, but to be transformed by the renewing of their minds (Romans 12:2). Winsomeness then is not merely a standard to which Christians must aspire, but a natural outworking of a life that is lived in relationship with God. It is not merely the vehicle or channel for theological truth, but part of the substance of that truth.

As we grow closer to God and closer to others, we become the kinds of people for whom winsomeness happens naturally. It is not merely a requirement of Christianity, but a marker of someone who is walking with God. In a world spiralling in graceless belligerence, people who seek to be gracious and kind – seasoning their speech with salt (Colossians 4:6) – stand out for all the right reasons.

 

Go deeper (Supplementary material)

 

Learning More

OCCA The Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics was established in 2004 to raise up the next generation of evangelist-apologists. By 2021, around 350 emerging evangelists from around the world had studied on the OCCA one-year programme. This course equipped each of them to share and defend the gospel message and to come alongside others to help them with their intellectual objections and heartfelt concerns about the Christian faith. Subscribe to our weekly newsletters to see our latest articles from our team of speakers.

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