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A culture of contempt

The recent death of former Cambridge professor Jason Arday raises crucial questions about the nature, form and tone of our public conversation. For years, a culture of contempt has plagued our public square[1]. Regardless of actual wrongdoing, alleged wrongdoing, or merely sharing a view that others don’t like – people have been cancelled, demonised and treated contemptuously. The reasons for this are multifaceted and broad-ranging. But at least one thing can be indisputably said:

We are suffering from an absence of winsomeness.

Challengingly, the problem of missing winsomeness is not just something that we see in our public conversation. Our collective tendency towards being disagreeable stems from a deeper instinct inside all of us – a natural aversion, even disgust, sparked by those we see as enemies. It can bubble up when we’re sitting in traffic.  It can boil over at a dinner party. It can even rear its ugly head when we’re watching the news or scrolling online. It’s the human instinct to turn inwards – turning ideological opponents into objects of scorn. This is a central part of the Christian theology of what the Bible refers to as ‘sin.’

Ironically – and disappointingly – the history of the Christian church is full of sad examples of a distinct absence of winsomeness. Too often, Christians, and those who call themselves Christian, fail to meet the standard to which they are called – replacing winsomeness with judgmentalism and self-righteousness. However, for those who call themselves Christian, the call to winsomeness is not optional. Followers of Jesus are called to be ‘salt’ and ‘light.’ Both terms hold important theological and symbolic significance. ‘Salt’ refers to that which preserves and protects, and to that which enhances the flavour or experience of something. ‘Light’ refers to the bringing of wisdom and hope. These are the expected influence of Christians in their workplaces, relationships and conversations.

A fractured social fabric

When winsomeness is missing our social fabric erodes. A recent Edelman Trust Barometer confirmed what we all instinctively know and feel. Public trust levels are at an all-time low and are sliding. Causes for this include economic anxieties,  institutional imbalances, class divides, and perhaps most damagingly – a hostile battle among competing voices over what is true.

Large scale studies that track election data and voter behaviour revealed that social media platforms – like Facebook – through their tribalising algorithms, lead to intense ideological seclusion and segregation. It’s not just that we are becoming more entrenched in our views. We are exposed less and less to those who think otherwise, and we are subconsciously trained not only to think of their perspectives as beneath us, but to think of them as ‘lesser people.’ In the context of public conversation, we are probably living in the most dehumanising age in human history.

When politics forgets its manners

Politically, the absence of winsomeness is most evident on both the far right and the far-left flanks. Politicians as ideologically opposed as Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez and Nigel Farage have spoken openly about their ‘consequentialist’ approach – essentially arguing that the ends justifies the means. Social cohesion, public safety and civil discourse can take a backseat to ideologically driven political change.

Regardless of the wrongheadedness of the substance of a political ideology, it is the tone of disagreeable contempt with which this ideology is channelled that arguably does the most damage: A disregard for those with different views; a dehumanisation of those of different opinions; and perhaps most troublingly, an ‘ends justifies the means’ approach that sweeps aside notions of trust, respect and civility. Such methods reinforce tribalism and replace the real debates we should be having with blurring noise, distracting anger, and more closed minds.

Disagreeing differently

To these seemingly intractable challenges, the Christian message offers refreshing moral and intellectual resources: The call to see all people as image bearers of God; the call to love our enemies, not just those like us and those that like us; and perhaps most importantly – the fusing of form with substance when it comes to public discussion. That is to say, for the Christian it’s not that the ends justify the means but the ‘means’ – how we communicate – are part of the ‘ends.’ As per Christian author Os Guinness: Our message has to be cross-centred and cross-shaped.

There seem to be at least two components to living out a life of winsomeness in a deeply non-winsome age. The first is to find a sense of security in our beliefs and identity. When our views are threatened or opposed by other voices, by critical attacks, or even by public policy – we must attain a level of emotional security and intellectual maturity to calmly hold fast to that which we believe without lashing out. After all, the truth remains true regardless of what others might say of it. Secondly – and perhaps more importantly:

to swim against the currents of our self-righteous instincts, we require a transformation of our hearts and minds. This is the transformation that the Christian message offers through a relationship with God (Romans 12:2).

A life well-lived is not merely about finding truth and defending it, it is about doing so with a mindset and heart posture that is outward facing, loving, gracious, and winsome. As Jesus himself said of his followers – it is by the way that they love that people will know that they belong to Him (John 13:35).

 

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